


Essek's Love Language is Gifts

by coruscantspark



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Essek learns how to have friends, Gen, Gift Giving, Lonely Essek Thelyss, Love Language: Gifts, neurodivergent essek
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-22
Updated: 2020-03-22
Packaged: 2021-02-28 22:14:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,807
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23254528
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/coruscantspark/pseuds/coruscantspark
Summary: Essek learns how to have friends, buys cupcakes, has a heart to heart with Jester, and shares a moment with Caleb thanks to the M9's matchmaking.
Relationships: Essek Thelyss & Caleb Widogast, Jester Lavorre & Essek Thelyss, The Mighty Nein & Essek Thelyss
Comments: 16
Kudos: 209





	Essek's Love Language is Gifts

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to the Autistic/ADHD server for their support, love, encouragement, and book title ideas. I did look up Widogast's Vault of Amber for this, but none of the other spells. All spell mistakes and other mistakes are mine. This was started before the live show reveal and I am not creative enough to work that into this story explicitly spelled out. You can read this with that info in mind, or pretend it didn't ever happen. This is set post-Menagerie, pre-Peace Talks.

They announced their imminent arrival in the usual style -- an abrupt sending spell startling him out of his concentration.

“Hey Essek! We’re back in Xhorhas for a little bit and we were wondering if you wanted to hang out? Also, do you know where--”

Essek ignores the jump in his chest at the thought of seeing them soon and quickly runs over the day’s schedule in his mind. 

“Hello Jester, I am doing some work from home today, but if you and the others would like to join me here for lunch?”

“That sounds like so much fun! How's your day? Did you miss us while we were gone? We got a gift for you! Hope you--”

“Thank you Jester I will see you soon. I--”

_Did he miss them? Of course not._

_He hadn’t thought about any of them while they were away._

_He didn’t think of them when he passed by the bakery on the commute to the Conservatory and saw their cupcake display._

_He didn’t spend an embarrassing amount of time restocking and reorganizing his tea selection and the newly curated bar in the entertaining room was just...an item on a to-do list he’d recently checked off. Not because of any potential guests in the future._

_His eyes never stared too long at the spot on the nearby desk where he’d witnessed one of the most brilliant minds he’d ever met make history._

_The wisdom from Yasha never echoed in his head as he floated through the lonely -- when did they become lonely? -- halls of his home, how solitude becomes more lonely after knowing the warmth of friendship._

“I’ll have lunch prepared at noon.”

Attempting to ignore the anticipation growing, Essek rings for a servant. 

“Derne, I apologize for the late notice but we’ll be having guests for lunch. Eight, including myself. Do we have enough on hand to arrange this?”

"Yes, sir. Rose just did the shopping for the week, we should be fine.”

“Wonderful, thank you. Oh and Derne, one or more of my guests do not eat meat, be sure to let Rose know to provide options. Lunch will be around noon, but this group is… unpredictable at best in their arrival times.”

“Understood sir, we’ll get to work right away”

Essek turns his attention back to his work. Tries. Switches to a different task. After thirty minutes of fruitless attempts at work, he sinks his head to his hands. 

_What is wrong with him recently? There’s no way he’s doing this friendship thing correctly. How is it that other people have friends and still get work done?_

Activating his levitation spell he floats out of his office, down the stairs and pauses outside of the kitchen. 

“Don’t worry about dessert, Rose, I’m going to get some air and grab something from the bakery.”

Essek floats absentmindedly towards the bakery he usually passes on the days he goes to the Conservatory and tries to not think too hard about why he’s doing this. Jester had told him to just buy better pastries last time. He feels that uncomfortable swoosh in his stomach thinking back to that conversation and his attempt at a joke that fell flat. 

_How do people indicate that they're joking? Jester tended to get more wiggly than normal in the eyebrows. Eyebrows. Come to think of it, so did Beau and Fjord. Eyebrows to indicate emotion and jest. He needs to raise an eyebrow._

Forgetting his current location, he attempts to raise an eyebrow. Both rise. Essek stops moving and tries again, glancing quickly at his reflection in a window. Both rise again and then furrow in frustration. A sudden flash of inspiration hits him as he realizes he has done this expression before, except he was being sarcastic at the time and mildly insulting to the fawning lower-level dignitary trying to weasel their way into favor with him. 

Keeping that in mind, he successfully raises a single eyebrow at his reflection before his vision focuses past the reflection of himself into the store where a small child is making faces back at him. 

Essek feels a heat starting to rise up his neck as he breaks eye contact with the child and makes an exaggerated motion with his hands, as though responding to an arcane message and turning around as the flush reaches his cheeks and he shakes his head slightly at his own foolishness. 

_Luxon, emotions are difficult._

Glancing around, he realizes he’s passed the bakery by a block and is now standing across the street from a bookstore. He floats with purpose toward the bookstore and wonders how long he should stay there window shopping before he can reasonably turn back around to his intended destination when a book catches his eye. He floats through the door and heads directly towards it. 

He’d read this one before and enjoyed it. He thinks about the library in the… Xhorhouse. Barely a dozen books that don’t even take up an entire shelf. He shakes his head and puts the book back down. 

Surely this is too forward. 

He turns to leave and another book catches his eye, _Alchemical Properties of Indiginous Xhorhassian Organic Matter Vol. 2_. 

Then again, his first real conversation with the Mighty Nein somehow dissolved into their past trauma and biggest regrets, all while mosty unclothed in a hot tub. They wouldn't know forward if it bit them on the nose. 

Heart racing just the slightest, he picks up the alchemy book. And a book for Fjord. And the original book that caught his eye. Casting a secondary levitation spell, the books trail along beside him while he continues browsing, picking up books here and there. 

He floats the embarrassingly tall stack of books over to the counter where an elderly looking goblin is currently snoozing on her stool. Essek coughs delicately. No response. He coughs a little louder. Still no response. He sighs and floats the books down to just above the counter and releases the spell. The resulting thump causes the goblin to squawk and jump up.

“Who did whaazzit?”

“By the Light, I didn’t see you there!” Essek says with his most charming smile. “I thought I was going to have to ring for service from someone in the back.”

“Ehhhh I was just restin' me eyes and letting the weight off these old bones. My, you’ve really got a stack there dontcha? Let’s see here, _Moonlit Horticulture_ . One of my wife’s favorites. Not that she can grow a thing, bless her. Five gold pieces. _The Storms Across the Plains_ , hmmmm I can’t say that I’ve read that one, but I’ve heard of it. Interesting thoughts those kids have. Predicting the weather. Ha! Six gold pieces.”

Essek tries to not outwardly show his impatience as he gets an impromptu commentary on each title he was impulsively purchasing. Once the total is finally tallied up, he takes the books and places them in the pocket dimension he stores his spellbook in.

“Oh heavens, that’s a handy trick! You have a nice day young man and be sure to come back soon!”

“I will be back and I’ll be sure to pass my own recommendations on to curious book lovers as well, thank you for your time.”

Essek slips out the front door and hastens his way back to the bakery. The smell of freshly baked bread and sugar immediately fills his nostrils and he can’t help but smile. Pursuing the sweet display he notices a couple of flavors he hasn’t tried yet. 

“Can I help you, sir?” A young drow with a smear of flour on their face smiles pleasantly at him, eyebrows raised in question.

“Ah yes, I'm hosting a luncheon and one of my guests is a bit of a sweets connoisseur. She implied that my pastry knowledge was lacking the last time I hosted and I’m not one to back down from a challenge. I’m hoping you can offer me some much-needed advice to properly delight her highly opinionated palate.” 

The drow’s laughter bounces through the small shop as they nod and grab a box.

“Well let's see, have they expressed a preference for a particular flavor?”

“Um, sweet? She did mention blueberry and black moss cupcakes in the past. And maybe something about cinnamon from her hometown? I’m afraid I'm at a bit of a loss, I don't know much about baked goods.”

“Don’t you worry, there, I've got you covered.” They quickly fill the box with two colors of cupcakes before grabbing another box and filling it with oddly shaped treats. They wave Essek over and point at the boxes.

“Now in the cupcake box, we’ve got some of our specialties. The greenish one with pink icing is a cherry limeade cupcake and the lighter brown is a tea-flavored cupcake.”

“Tea flavored?”

“Yes! I spent a while experimenting with how to get your basic tea flavor in a cupcake without making the batter a soggy disaster and I finally made it work. Now, this other box is full of bear claws--"

“A bear claw?”

“Well, you mentioned they loved cinnamon. And if you look, the way they’re cut makes them look like a little bear paw! I had the best cinnamon dessert I've ever had when I followed a recipe for a traditional Nicodrani dessert called a bear claw. I swear, it changed my life. So, will this work?”

“Yes! Thank you so much for your help.”

Essek pays and leaves behind a generous tip before grabbing the boxes and heading out the door. He rushes back home, having been gone much longer than he had expected to be. Sweeping into his home he pauses for a second to listen. 

Silence echoes around him, except for the sounds of cooking coming from the kitchen. 

Thankfully he still got back before they arrived. 

Floating to the kitchen he passes off the desserts into Rose’s capable hands and heads to his room. All of the rushing about has caused more exertion than he is used to and he needs to change clothes and fix the disaster that his hair has fallen to. He changes his clothes, reaches for his mantle and then changes his mind and grabs a comb from an opened cabinet instead, trying to get his hair in some semblance of order. A sudden voice in his head startles him causing him to crash his forehead into the open door of the cabinet. 

“Hey Essek, we’re a little early, hope that’s okay, Caleb said we should have waited but Nott’s experiment went bad, like stinky bad and--”

Wincing and rubbing his forehead he responds, “That’s perfectly alright, Jester, come on to the door and knock. Derne will let you in.”

Quickly combing his hair and double-checking his appearance, he floats out and down to the foyer as the clattering of a group of people is let in.

“Hey, Essek, sorry we’re so early,” Fjord smiles and waves.

Beau interrupts to try and explain, “Yeah we wouldn’t have barged in so early but Nott got experimental in the alchemy lab and it reeks--”

“I didn’t know that would happen!” Nott interjects.

“We can smell it all the way up in our room, Nott,” Jester teases.

The bickering continues as Essek smiles at the group and takes stock of their appearance, as has become his habit for him on the days he sees them after long periods of separation. Taking note of healing bruises, new scars, he hates to think about what they encountered since he last saw them. He makes eye contact with Caleb who’d been silent up until now and floats over near him.

“Hello and welcome back to Xhorhas.” 

“Yes, uh, hallo Essek. Thank you for having us over for lunch.” Caleb smiles up at him.

“It is my pleasure, always. This is what friends do, no?”

He feels a tug on his sleeve and looks over. Beau is smirking up at him and pulling him down to the ground.

“You don’t have to float around us Essek. We know you’re cool, man.”

Essek fights a flush as he releases the spell and lands with a small thud.

“Ah, sorry, a force of habit. If you’ll follow me.”

Essek leads them to the dining room and lunch is served. A loud and bicker-filled discussion is had about the failed experiment that led to their rapid evacuation of the Xhorhouse followed by full description from multiple perspectives of their adventures since he’d last seen them. 

Essek stays mostly silent, taking in the conversations around him, responding when the need arises and laughing when appropriate. In the meantime, he studies the people around his table. The part of him that raised him to Shadowhand status can’t help but notice the unspoken conversation happening under the surface. 

The tension in Beau’s neck and shoulders looks like it would snap the woman in half given the opportunity and he sees how Fjord doesn’t let her venture too far away from him and keeps her included in the conversation when she falls silent. How occasionally Caleb absentmindedly rests a hand on her shoulder and squeezes softly. 

Nott is even more jittery and shrill than normal, eyes darting from person to person, object to object. She's sticking closer to Caleb than before, his other hand finding hers. 

He can see the dark circles under Caleb’s eyes. Sees the glances that he and Fjord share and the look of understanding there before they continue their vigil over their friends. 

He sees Yasha keeping watch over the whole group, and doesn't miss the flask hanging from her belt that usually rests on Nott’s. The pinch of her eyebrows when she sees Jester’s shoulders droop a little. The arm she keeps around the back of Beau’s chair.

He sees a haunted sorrow in Caduceus’ face, the shake in his hands as he reaches for his teacup, the grateful smile when Fjord covers his free hand with his while pressing into Caduceus’ side, a steady presence to lean on. 

The droop in Jester’s shoulders, her uncharacteristic silence, the aching sorrow when she thinks no one is looking covered by a brilliant smile and almost manic glee and teasing when someone checks back in with her.

He sees Fjord’s clenched jaw as he looks over at Beau and Caduceus. Sees the worried glances he shoots Jester and the soft teasing banter he trades with Nott.

More has happened here. Deeper than their dramatic monster stories tell. 

_Should he inquire and perhaps comfort? Is that allowed? Is he close enough to them to ask?_

He notices that the food is mostly gone and stands up.

“Excuse me for just a moment, I have a surprise for you all.”

In his excitement, he practically sprints into the kitchen to grab the now plated cupcakes and bear claws. Carefully balancing them, he takes a few steps before reconsidering and casts a levitation on the plates and floats them into the dining room.

“Hopefully these are better than my last attempt at serving pastries,” he says, raising a single eyebrow and floating them to the middle of the table, mentally releasing a sign of relief both at the safe delivery of the sweets and the successful eyebrow emoting.

Jester’s jaw drops as she turns to look at him with sparkling eyes.

“You got us pastries and cupcakes?”

There’s no fighting the blush this time.

“I, uh, yes. I did.”

The smile she gives him is more real than any he’s seen come from her today and his heart lifts a little before he clears his throat and continues.

“Anyway there are the bakery’s specialties something called a cherry limeade and then a tea flavored one--”

Caduceus perks up too, “Tea? That sounds nice.”

“Yes, the baker said they’d been experimenting for a while to get the flavor to come through and this is apparently the result. This other plate is bear claws. Please, help yourselves!”

He gestures vaguely at the table as they all descend on the plates, jokingly pushing and bickering. Jester slips a bear claw out of the fray and takes a bite. His heart sinks a bit as he watches tears well up in her eyes as she seems to melt into the chair. She composes herself before anyone else notices, but Essek is still concerned.

Looking around, he sees Caleb darting glances at Jester before relaxing when she relaxes. Essek catches his gaze and raises his eyebrows but Caleb’s eyes seem sad and he makes a nearly unseen shake of his head. Essek nods but can’t get that gut-wrenching sorrow out of his head. He remembers his other gifts and an idea takes root. 

“Jester, could you help me grab something from the kitchen?”

“Sure Essek!”

She follows him into the kitchen.

“What is it?”

“I got a bit distracted this morning going to the bakery and ended up at a bookstore and made a few impulse purchases.”

He pulls the stack of books from their pocket dimension and they clatter on the table.

“There’s a book here for each of you. We’ll call it a belated housewarming gift. To fill your library.”

Jester’s jaw drops and she immediately starts looking at the titles. Her smile grows as she shuffles through them.

“Essek, there are more than 7 books here.”

She looks up at him with eyes full of mischief.

“Some of these are pretty obvious who they are meant for. And some of these all seem to be perfect for one very specific person.”

_Why Essek even tries to stop the blushing around Jester, he’ll never know._

“Yes yes I got a few extras but I couldn’t help it, I saw them and thought of him-all of you and your library at the house is pretty barren and anyway I called you in here to ask you what you think is the best way to give these to our-your friends.”

Her eyes soften and she reaches out to touch his arm.

“Essek you are our friend. You can call us friends if you want. And I guarantee, we don’t receive presents very often. You could throw it at their heads and any kind of gift would make their day. Caduceus gave Fjord something one time and I swear he smiled for a whole week.”

Essek looks down at her hand. “Jester I am at a loss. You all have been so kind, so patient with me and I am so inexperienced with,” He waves his hand in frustration. “Interpersonal connections. I am so out of my depth and I do not like feeling unsure but you are so wise when it comes to understanding people and I thought perhaps you were the best to help me? Should I just bring them out there and just hand them over?”

“Yes! They’ll love it Essek, I promise.” 

“Thank you, Jester, I...also had another question. If I’m overstepping here, please let me know and I’ll drop it. But as someone who wears a mask due to expectations- both self-imposed and those put upon me by my peers, I have experience recognizing a mask on others. Are you, that is to say...do you feel... well are you okay?”

Jester’s shoulders slump and she pulls her hand away to cross her arms.

“Aw man, I thought I was doing a good job of hiding it.”

“Perhaps you are, you might be good at hiding it from your friends by being what they expect, but as I am still somewhat of an outsider, I can see the inconsistency in your behavior. Also, it's part of my job to notice such things, and I haven't quite figured out how to turn that part of my brain off.” Essek shrugs apologetically.

“No that makes sense. Caduceus and I do it all the time too. But you’re probably right, I’m used to hiding it from them. It was my stupid crying about the bear claws wasn’t it?” 

“That was the most obvious, but you’ve been, well, not the same as you were when we first met all day.”

Tears come to her eyes again as she hugs herself and turns away from him a bit.

“They tasted like home,” she shrugs and then her face crumples. “The truth, Essek, is that I’m really not okay. I haven’t been for a while and I’m not sure when I will be again. I’m afraid that everything is falling apart around me and I can’t fix it. My friends are hurting and I can’t heal them. I miss home, and I miss my mama. And I just found out that something I thought I knew for sure - no matter what else happened in this crazy world, this one thing was real and true - was a lie and I’m not handling that very well at all!” She sniffs before wiping tears from her face, “I’m not really sure why I told you that. That is probably not what you were expecting when you asked.”

Essek hesitates before reaching out a hand to place on her shoulder. “People whose thoughts are raging wildly in their heads usually just need a friendly face and a moment of silence to let them out. You don’t need to elaborate if you do not wish to, but sometimes just taking stock of your emotions can help you stabilize when everything seems to be spinning wildly around you.” 

“I was concerned that something might have been wrong and it seems like your world has been shaken a little bit. While I am not sure what caused the quake, I do know this: Anyone who has faced down the hardship and monsters that you and your friends have, and comes out the other side aggressively befriending stuck up wizards like me and is more concerned about the well-being and safety of those around her is an incredibly strong and intelligent young lady who is choosing joy each day rather than bitterness.” 

“That is an admirable trait in this ugly world. One that is a heavy burden to bear.” He reaches out to dry a tear that escaped. “I deeply apologize that I have implied otherwise in the past. And your friends would be more than honored to take some of that weight off of your shoulders if you take off the mask and let them help. You and your band of merry adventurers are teaching me much about friendship and from what I have learned so far, it seems that the first lesson is that friendship is a two-way street. Each party must give and take. You give so much Jester, let the others take a turn giving back to you.”

Jester sniffs and smiles up at him. 

“Essek, when did you become so wise?”

Essek laughs, “I’m not entirely sure I am wise. That honor falls to those much much older than I and who have lived more lives than I have, but I am fairly observant.”

Jester swipes at her face again and turns back towards him.

“Can I give you a hug?”

Essek freezes and then slowly nods. Jester gently hugs him and he slowly wraps an arm around her before she steps back.

“Thank you Essek. I feel much better just saying that out loud.”

“If I may be so bold, I think your group may not be as shocked as you think they’ll be to find out you’re feeling down. In fact, I’m certain Caleb noticed today.”

Jester smiles and laughs gently. 

“He usually does notice and waits until everyone else is asleep to talk to people about it. He usually makes things or gives us things-” She gasps, “Just like these books, oh my gosh, Essek do all not-evil wizards have the same love language?”

“I...what?” He’d never heard of that term before.

“Love languages! How you show other people that you care and are thinking of them! Essek! That is so sweet! 

“I had no idea that was a thing. But I suppose I did purchase these because I was thinking of you all.”

“I know about them because of my Mama. She is so good at picking up on people’s love languages.” Her grin turns sly as she examines the titles of the books again. “All of these extra books are for Caleb aren’t they?”

Her eyebrows are back to wiggling furiously. Essek covers his face with his hands. 

“Jester, if your goal in life is to keep me in a constant state of blushing, you’re doing spectacularly well. I have blushed more in the weeks we’ve known each other than in all my life.”

“You totally have a crush on him don’t you”

“I am the Shadowhand to the Bright Queen of the Krynn Dynasty. I do not have crushes.”

“Ohhhh you definitely have a crush”

“No, I simply admire his intellect and skill. His work on the transformation spell for your friend is astounding.”

“Mmmhmmm thats why you got him extra books”

“I simply couldn't choose which book to get him, especially since he is the most avid reader amongst you.”

“Riiiiight. Whatever you say.” She bumps his shoulder with hers. “I’m only teasing, Essek. But,” she bites her lip and picks up a book and flips through it. “Caleb has been hurt by powerful people before. I don’t know the whole story, but I have a terribly good imagination and he's still learning to love himself again despite the ghosts in his past. I don’t know if he will ever fully.”

“I understand.” His eyes widen. “Not that I - oh never mind.” Willing himself to stop blushing he changes the subject. “Will you help me carry these in?”

“Of course, I’m very strong Essek.”

“I am aware. Oh, hold on just a second,” He catches a remaining tear then tucks a strand of hair behind her ear. “There we go. Good as new.”

Jester smiles her thanks and grabs most of the books and starts heading for the dining room. Essek scoops up the last few and follows her, heart speeding up.

The room falls suspiciously silent as they enter, but Essek ignores that and tries to think about what he was going to say.

“What is all this?” Fjord breaks the silence.

“Ah, I got a bit distracted on the way to the bakery just before you all came today. There was a bookstore and a title happened to catch my eye and made me think of - anyway I wandered in and next thing I knew I had a whole stack of books meant for you all. Your library is so empty and I thought I might contribute to it with some topics you all might enjoy, but there is at least one book chosen specifically for each of you.”

“Ah that’s so nice, friend, I think we had a gift for you as well somewhere, Fjord did you have that?” Caduceus turns to Fjord with the question.

“Yep I got it right here,” Fjord starts digging through the Bag of Holding.

Essek sits in his chair. “You got me a gift? Oh yes, Jester mentioned that in the first message she sent. It completely slipped my mind. You really didn’t need to.” 

A badly wrapped, misshapen package gets passed down to him and he stares down at it chest tight for some odd reason.

“Well open it already Essek!” Jester can barely sit still in her excitement.

Inside is a necklace. A silver chain with a small box. He picks it up to look at it closer.

“Caleb tell him what it is!” Nott’s shrill voice pierces through the emotions he couldn’t begin to identify.

“It is a bead of force.” Caleb’s soft voice is soothing and begins the release of tension in his chest.

Essek’s eyebrows raise in question still as he makes eye contact with the other wizard. 

“You are familiar, ja?”

“Yes, but more confused as to why you think I may need one?”

“Well, you are very powerful and have the ear of the Bright Queen herself. It’s always best to have a backup in case magic isn’t an option or something goes awry.”

Essek’s mind races and his eyebrows furrow in concern.

“To be clear, you haven’t overheard plans intending to harm me?”

“No, no, Essek, we’re just well aware of how squishy a wizard can be when they run out of spells for the day and we don’t want that to happen to you without some form of back up of defense-,” Fjord tries to reassure him. 

“-and it’s pretty,” Jester interjects.

Fjord smiles at Jester before continuing, “Plus I happen to know first hand how absolutely terrifying it is to suddenly be without magic and no weapon on hand-or who knows, you may have 14 daggers hidden in that mantle of yours, we don’t know! But from where we’re standing, you seem like you might be a bit vulnerable without access to your magic and such,” Fjord trails off a bit and looks at Essek and then over to Caleb and then back to Essek gesturing excitedly. “You know come to think of it, a couple of hidden daggers may not be a bad idea. Nott, you got any extras laying around?

“Why would I have a dagger, Fjord? I shoot things from far far away.”

“Well, I don’t know! You’re all sneaky sneak all the time!”

“Anyway,” Beau interrupts the squabbling, “I’d also be happy to teach you a few things, certain maneuvers to get out of a hold, or disable someone long enough to run away or get a spell off.”

Essek pushes away the immediate bristle at their implication of his weakness and admits it is the truth, he is not physically imposing and would be in a spot of trouble without access to magic. 

“Thank you, I hadn’t thought of that.” He says softly and pauses before smiling up at them. “I don’t remember the last time someone gave me a present or expressed a concern over my safety.” He looks at them expectantly. “This is what friends do, yes?”

Caduceus, Nott, and Jester are already nodding while Beau darts a glance over to Fjord who is also nodding, Caleb and Yasha exchange a look as they too slowly nod. 

He carefully slips the chain over his head and tucks the bead into the folds of his tunic.

“Thank you, truly,” he says softly. Standing up, he picks up the book at the top of the stack. “I have these for you as well.” He glances at the title before handing it to Nott. “I thought this might be useful to you or your husband, or both. I apologize I couldn't find Volume 1, but such is the way of secondhand bookstores.” 

Nott looks at the cover and reads aloud, “ _Alchemical Properties of Indigenous Xhorhassian Organic Matter Vol. 2_. Oh, wow Essek, that is very kind of you. Caleb, maybe we can identify some of the stuff growing outside the house and use it!” She looks up at Essek, “Yeza would love this as well, thank you.” She reaches up and pats his cheek before sitting back down next to Caleb and flipping through the pages.

A glance at the next title and the book goes to Caduceus. “Not to undermine the amazing work you’ve done already at the house, but this may help you add on to your garden.”

Caduceus reads, “ _Moonlit Horticulture - Life That Grows Under the Veil of Shadow_. Oh that’s interesting. I think. There’s a lot of words there I don’t know.”

Essek winces, “Yes, the author made their title a bit pretentious in my opinion. The majority of the book is less...wordy”

Caduceus is already flipping through the pages. “Oh, this is so nice. Thank you so much Essek. Some of these are really cool looking. I may have to go plant shopping.”

“I can go with you, if you’d like,” Yasha offers, looking over his shoulder at the drawing of the plant. “Oh, I do like that one.”

Essek looks at the next book on the stack, “Oh Yasha, this one is for you. It’s a bit technical but some of the researchers at various places of learning across the world have started to craft some theories about weather patterns and the _how_ behind the will of the Stormlord.”

Yasha’s eyes soften as she takes the book and flips to the middle, “Thank you Essek. That sounds very interesting and useful.”

“Fjord, I know you used to sail, I found this old book that has stories and legends of tales from the high seas,” Essek hands him a beaten-up book with half of its cover missing. “I apologize that it looks a bit rough but it seemed like it might be interesting still, despite outward appearances.”

“Thank you Essek, I don’t mind, knowing me it would probably end up looking like this anyway, thank you though. I can’t wait to read it. Who knows? Maybe I've encountered some sights like what they describe here!” Fjord gestures with the book. 

A blue hand reaches across the table as Jester’s voice sings out, “ _Mending!_ ” The torn cover restores itself back to new but the title is still missing.

“Hey, thanks Jessie,” Fjord smiles at her and taps on the new hardcover. “Good as new.”

“Jester, this one is for you,” Essek hands her a larger book, “It’s a collection of all the famous pieces of art, sculpture, painting - through the centuries, from the birth of the Krynn Dynasty to modern-day. I believe there may even be some excavated examples of pre-Dynasty art as well.

“Oh, Essek! They’re beautiful, thank you.” She gives his hand a squeeze before sitting back down next to Caduceus and the two of them begin flipping through the pages.

“Beauregard, your search for knowledge is so vast I wasn’t sure what you would enjoy before I dug this out of a stack of other novels. I would love to get the chance to read it after you do and perhaps compare notes concerning the validity of this book?” 

He hands her a book titled, _Would That I Could Go Home - Recovered Excerpts from the Diaries of Soldiers during the Calamity_. Beau’s eyes widen as she carefully opens it to look at the first page.

“Oh wow Essek, yeah that would be good yeah. Thanks, man!” She absentmindedly punches his shoulder while wandering back to the table, still reading. Fjord gently grabs her before she walks too far and guides her to a seat.

Essek glances at the remaining pile of books and fights off another blush as he takes a deep breath and makes eye contact with Caleb. Before he could say anything, Jester grabs Caduceus’ arm with a gasp.

“Oh my gosh, you guys, I think Essek has this painting in the front foyer! Come on let’s go look!”

With a clattering of footsteps and exclamations, the room clears out with Jester pushing Caleb back to his seat and shooting a wink at Essek on the way out. Caleb’s adorably mystified face turns back to Essek with a questioning look in his eyes. Essek has already sunk his head into his hands with a sigh. 

“Essek? Are you alright?” Caleb asks with a concerned tone.

Signing once more, he responds, “Yes, I am fine. I may have gone a bit overboard with my book selections for you. I couldn’t decide and Jester may have correctly noticed that I’d be a bit embarrassed if the others noticed.”

“Oh, the rest of these are meant for me?” Caleb’s head dips as Essek nods and pushes the books towards him. The titles range from history to culture to fairytales to religion and famous dunamancers. Caleb runs a shaking hand over the books before looking up at Essek again. 

“Thank you for these Essek, we have not had a good,” he pauses and meets Essek’s gaze again, “This visit with you was to be a bright spot in a dark couple of weeks. You made it so. In more ways than one. Thank you.”

Essek places a hand gently atop the hand Caleb has rested on the books still.

“As I told you before, I am inexperienced and unsure of how to navigate a friendship. I have come to care for you, for all of you, deeply. To the point of distraction,” he smiles wryly, “I am still learning how to show it.”

Caleb slowly rotates the hand under Essek’s to intertwine their fingers as he drops his gaze to the books. “You are learning faster than I did.” He glances at the door the rest of the group had just vacated. 

“They have a way of getting under your skin. Showing you the things you lack. The connections you thought you wouldn’t miss or need.” He gently squeezes Essek’s hand before releasing it and pulling out the piece of amber he keeps around his neck. 

He whispers a word at Essek doesn’t quite catch and it shimmers and suddenly becomes 5 pieces of amber and some papers. Essek sits up straighter and watches as Caleb places each of the amber rocks around the stack of books and carefully tucks the papers into the top book. Caleb pulls out his spellbook and begins running through the ritual casting of a spell that Essek isn’t familiar with. As the spell completes, the books and 4 of the pieces of amber disappear into the one remaining amber gem. Caleb picks it up and notices Essek’s intense gaze. Caleb smiles and places the amber back on the necklace and tucks it into his shirt. 

“Perhaps next time, eh?” Caleb taps his spellbook, “Something I’ve been working on.”

Essek smiles and relaxes in his seat, crossing his arms. “So that’s how it’s going to be, Widogast?”

“That’s how it’s going to be, Thelyss” He responds, locking eyes with Essek. The moment stretches and heats, their eye contact unwavering. Essek blinks and inhales, about to say something else when a loud voice shatters the tense silence from the door.

“False alarm you guys, I thought it was that painting but it definitely wasn’t and then I remembered there was another painting down the hallway and it wasn't either. Essek you don’t have any fancy paintings at all in here do you?” Jester says quickly, still looking at her book as she leads the pack to the doorway of the dining hall. 

Standing and glancing back at Caleb, Essek smiles, “I am afraid not, I have a prestigious position with the Dynasty, however, I do not make enough money to own highly revered pieces of artwork to display in my home,” He gestures at the paintings on the wall. “However I do know the names of some up and coming artists in the city if you need a recommendation.” 

“We might take you up on that sometime, the house is a bit dreary at times,” Fjord pops his head in, nodding at Essek and looking at Caleb, “We’d better head back, we’ve taken enough of Essek’s time.”

Caleb stands and places a hand on Essek’s shoulder pausing as he walks to the door, “Thank you for this, it was good.” He continues walking towards the door and motions for Jester to go first. They all head for the front door talking over each other and moving in and out of each other's space. 

“I only snooped a little Essek, only a little,” Beau grins at him.

Nott appears at his side, “You asked me to pick a lock, Beauregard!”

“I was joking!”

Fjord shrugs as he and Caduceus continue gently herding the group towards the door, “I tried to keep them under control, but what can you do?”

Essek just laughs as they all stand on his front porch.

“I appreciate the effort, but do you honestly think I would keep my sensitive information out where a simple lock pick could get to it?”

Beau grabs his shoulder and leans in close, “Who says I’m looking for sensitive information? I just like _information_.” She releases him and ruffles his hair. “Dinner tonight? Our place? We’re probably heading out in the morning and Caleb gets all mopey when he doesn't get to learn new things so you'd better come and study with him tonight before we leave.”

“Beauregard that is not necessary,” A red-faced Caleb pulls her away and down the street.

“But you are welcome to come for dinner,” Caduceus says as Fjord and Jester pull him out the door. “Anytime, really.”

Essek waves slightly as they make their way down the street before closing his door, feeling oddly exhausted but inexplicably warm. 

_So this is friends._

He heads back up to his study and gets back to work. After all, he needs to make progress before dinner.


End file.
